There I was... Pure of thought, deed and inclination. Eschewing the ephemeral, holding back the dogs of social war, elevating my sights to something better, something more wholesome. But then I fell readers, I fell.
I'm talking, of course, about that freak show, that parade of inadequates and emotional incontinents we call Facebook.
I resigned as you well know. Sick of modern life. Tired of the trite and the easy path. The unwisdom of the crowd. I wanted to switch off modern distractions, write, read and become the best version of myself. Or some shit like that. Absolutism is easy after a couple of drinks, isn't it?
But you never really resign, do you? So, I turned on Facebook again this week. Just for a quick peep beneath the skirts of society. Only to be presented with a grinning version of myself nearly 30 years ago stretched out like some Page 7 fella. Micro briefs covered the essentials but other than that, you got the naked 20 year old version of myself. Out on the internet for all to see and tagged appropriately in case you missed it.
Yes, one of my old 'friends' had uploaded a picture - a somewhat unlovely reminder from the 80's like Arthur Scargill or a New Model Army concert.
Shocked? Yes. Annoyed? Yes. Invasion of privacy? Well of course. A teeny weeny bit envious at the effortless nascent six pack I sported back then? You betcha!
What possessed this 'friend' to post the picture, fuck only knows. You can't choose your friends apparently. I suppose you can however unchoose them which is pretty much my view on most of the people I've met in this life. But, seriously folks... Who wakes up in the morning and thinks, today I could mow the grass, do some chores, kick back and watch Strictly or shag the wife, but, fuck it - what I fancy doing is scanning a 30 year old picture from Benidorm of a mate I haven't seen for 20 years in his undies and uploading it to Facebook like it's fucking Grindr or something?
Never has FFS been more useful...
But, to my female readers out there; yes, I still look like that. Just a bit more toned, You know around the biceps. Chest. Oh yeah. An hour's walking everyday keeps you buff no matter how much you drink nor how much you eat. Bound to.
Anyway, enjoy the video below which was uploaded six years ago as a test.
So Serious - One of my 'lighter' songs!!! Love the hat. Where's that gone?
Note: I asked my friend to take down the 'naked' picture of me. He obliged, of course. Still, a fictitious slight is better than a real compromise, no?