So, there are many big issues that I could address today.
Does Global Warming actually exist?
Who is going to address the rising UK debt and the continuing deficit?
What about the rise of militant Islam and the ramifications of a schism in that religion for the rest of the world?
Big issues all, but the topic I want to address today is whether a man over 40 should tuck his shirt into his trousers or not. Hold the front page.
Now, historically, I would have favoured the opinion that, when not at work and wearing a suit, the shirt should flow free. No one wants to see a paunch, strained shirt buttons or a fat man sweat. Also, done badly, the tuck-in looks like William Hague with a baseball cap - embarrassing and therefore detestable.
However - although I'm not known to blow my own trumpet - I'm seriously buff these days. I may be over 40 (just), but I can actually tuck my shirt into my trousers without it being a strain or, superficially to me anyway, look that bad. This, dear readers, is not a natural state but the result of many hours in the gym or, lately, body pump or MyRide classes. I am my own hero.
But back to the shirt and the tuck or not to tuck dilemma. What to do?
My answer is - increasingly - fuck it, I do what I want, man. I've reached an age where I can cover a fashion faux pas with a lifetime of savoir faire. (And if you've ever seen those two French imports in the same sentence then let me know - hashtag pretentious writer - one who can't even find the hash key on his Apple MacBook).
It's like leather trousers. We all want to but we're not sure we'd look good in them. Well - lets be honest - most of us would look like a trendy vicar getting a tattoo and riding a Harley. And yet those that do don the leather, we resent for having the goddamn balls to do so. Their bravery is almost as much a provocation as their supposed sins against fashion. They take the blows so we don't have to. They allow us our superiority but, who is looking down on who and, who gives a toss?
So, I'm groping my way towards an answer. To be honest, it was a false question anyway; I do what I want and calibrate therein based on experience and utility. I think my fashion decisions are increasingly going to be idiosyncratic. Deal with it ladies. I'm all about that bass.
So tuck-in sometimes, let it flow on bad belly days. Either way, rules are made for breaking, hearts are made for taking and yeah, that's it for now.